What it is that college girls find attractive is this, and you can check me if I'm wrong:
*1* Unwavering self-confidence.
*2* A big dick, or rumors of a big dick. At the very least, something well groomed.
*3* Ignorance about something, pick a something, as long as it's not "all sports."
*4* One amazing talent. Athleticism, musicality, culinary skill, whatever.
*5* Laid-backness; we shouldn't give too much of a shit about anything.
*6* Fuck this list. I don't give a shit. I don't even know lists. I can play guitar. And my dick is fucking jacked.
What it is that college guys find attractive is this, and you can check me if I'm wrong:
*1* Unwavering self-confidence.
*2* A tiny vaginy, or rumors of a tiny vaginy. At the very least, something well groomed.
*3* Ignorance about everything, especially sports in their entirety.
*4* Talents at everything we aren't talented at.
*5* Up-tightness; I mean, at least one of the two of us has to care about what's up.
*6* This list could go on for fucking ever.
I have the hardest time understanding how SO many boys n' girls can walk into a room at a party wanting sex--and these kids are roughly in a 1 to 1 ratio, here, genderwise--and SO many boys n' girls can wake up the next morning alone and bored as shit.
What no one tells you, growing up, is that it's not okay to be indoors. It's not. I wish my mom had caught me when I was starting to show a peculiarly vested interest in art and slapped the pencil out of my hand and locked me outside with a soccerball and some provisions. I wish it hard.
I actually just went off on a tangent after the word "hard" and wrote a couple paragraphs about freedom of speech cancelling itself out and how art has been raped to death in the US. But I figured not doing it and telling you I thought about it was just as useful.
Girl reading this who finds me attractive: do something awesome for me. That's how these things start. I'd do it for you, I mean I have for some girls, it's just that I can't see you from here. I sure bet you wanted me to say "I'm lookin for ya!" But I'm not though. I'm not looking or a certain personality type, or a hair color, or even a very strict height/cup-range. Look at that list up there. That's all we want. Sure, maybe I've got my eyes on a particular lady at the moment, and you can bet I've probably been trying to cook up something awesome to do for her and not been thinking of you at all, but that's just it! The whole point of the awesome act is to persuade the target to stop seeking whoever it was they just were a second ago. Meaning reread the start of this paragraph.
This blog entry was a healthy ventilation for me, and I appreciate your feedback. This isn't to say I'm sexually frustrated. I am. But this isn't to say that. This was for you.
Posted by suppletowelcuddle at May 22, 2007 1:59 AMThe woman at the end was hot. I wonder what kind of kayygoolll control she has down there. Well said on the lists, just make sure you add rumors of being a badass/loved by all womens to the guy list.
Posted by: Naimul at May 22, 2007 8:10 PMThis was magnificent.
Posted by: Brandon at May 22, 2007 10:10 PMhere here.
It's true what you said about parties - it seems like literally everyone is looking for fresh meat. The thing is sexually frustrated people reject people too. Case in point, one time I was at a party staring at the wall and a tiny asian girl from one of my writing classes who barely speaks english started hitting on me, like to the point where she just stared at me with her slanted eyes, smiled and giggled nervously. Here she violated number 1 on your 'college guys find attractive' list, so instead of pulling her in the bathroom for a quick blowy I was powerless because of my (socially constructed?) duty to the list. In the first week of my sophomore year I wrote "lower your standards" on one of my notebooks as motivation to forget about the list and get some strange ass, and it has worked once or twice, but for the most part I'm still miserable taking care of my own boners.
Posted by: joel at May 22, 2007 10:58 PMyou forgot about money...
Posted by: rob at May 22, 2007 11:49 PMi think the problem is that everyone goes to parties wanting to get fucked and therefore everyone comes off looking a bit desperate. which is very unattractive. the odd few who actually are genuinely unwaveringly self-confident and not just faking it are the ones everyone wants to fuck, but no one gets to. i know i've never been to college, but i've been to a few parties, and it tripped me out hardcore walking in there and seeing all these girls in slut-gear and guys in nearly the exact same outfit. every little puddle of people had the same players and the same lines. drunk-sex is overrated anyway, and its hard to be unwaveringly self-confident if you're not drunk at the party...
you know there will always be the younger whs girls who'll be dying to give you a beej... as long as you cuddle after ahhaha
Posted by: jayme at May 24, 2007 8:44 AM