Late night
come home
work sucks
i know
These words spoken (or sung rather) by Tom Delonge speak volumes.
The next few lines will be reserved as Ryan's bitch time...
Well, I have grown to dislike work with a passion. There is nothing more annoying than having to go to work at 5 o'clock in the afternoon, knowing that you're day is about to end just as it was beginning. Even worse than going to work at 5 is getting off work at 10. It's as though people's nights are ending or are at a turning point just as my night is starting. Not only does working late mess up your night, it messes with your entire day. I don't think i have woken up before 11 in the past month (with the exception of the SLC trip) because it has just not been necessary. Not only has it been unnecessary, but it has been almost impossible to wake up earlier than 11, as well. Working an evening shift pushes you're entire consciousness/unconsciousness schedule around. And i know i get payed a lot, and i know i have almost no hours compared to some of you, but if i could get a better scheduled, less hectic job that i could work more hours at without going crazy, i would do so if it had decent pay.
Okay, bitch time done!
Well, I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 tonight, and overall I thought the movie was pretty good. It is alright to cry, and I almost did when they showed the footage of the iraqis and the american soldiers dead and mutilated. Although I am certainly not a Bush fan, I found some of the personal attacks against Bush's jokes and similar things to be both unnecessary and not conducive to making people hate Bush. Overall, though, the movie was pretty good, and I think it might change some people's opinions about things. I certainly wasn't aware of the extent of some of the business relations between the bush's and the saudis and bin ladins. It was very interesting.
I hope all of you have a wonderful day until I blog again. I feel like I am in rehab when they get someone addicted to one type of drug to get them off another. So i am using blogging to replace another late-night activity. Woohoo!
It's like the patch.
Well, to all of you a good night (or morning if you want to get technical), and I hope we can hang out sometime!
I was sitting here talking about the movie, the notebook, with my sister when we came to the ultimate realization that we are going to die someday. Well, I'm done being emo about that fact, so I have decided that I want to be positive and make a list of what I need to experience before my number comes. Some things in the list may be kind of raunchy or socially inappropriate, so some of those I will leave out.
Well, here's the list:
1.Climb some big fucking thing (mountain preferably)
2.Go into outer space (woohoo scaled composites and mike melville!)
3.Achieve high rank in my career field
4.Do something that makes my name live a lot longer than me
5.Vote for a winning president (hopefully this will happen my entire voting life)
6.Learn how to mix drinks
7.master some form of art (i would really like it to be comedy or music)
Now, we move from the hallmark cards to the doctor johns cards
8.Have sex:
a.In a bed
b.on the floor
c.in a chair
d.standing up
e.in a car
f.in public (i mean in full public, not even in a car)
g.on a beach
h.in an airplane
i.at the zoo (not with the animals..........well, unless jk)
j.at work
k.in the oval office (it would be the first that i know of...i'm not counting oral sex)
l-infinity.26 letters aren't nearly enough, so i'm done
9. Masturbate.....ah fuck it, i've done it everywhere and every possible way
10.I will leave #10 for all the sick things I really am not allowed to say outside of my mind that i wish to do nonetheless.
I'm sorry if you are offended or feel like you can't comment on this blog because it would degrade your moral status. If you to help me achieve ANY of these goals (but if you are an attractive female preferably the sub points in #8) you can call me at 981-3.........what the fuck am i doing giving my number out on the internet? Just call me. Oh yeah, i'm just going to put a little disclaimer at the end saying there is a lot of stuff i left out that is really important to a lot of people, and probably me too, but in the interest of making this blog more entertaining, I left those boring things out. I guess if you feel so compelled to tell me about something i missed, then you can comment, but please don't put sex positions on the comments, i know there are tons of positions, so you can see them by going to www.sexualpositions.tk.
Okay, i'm off to........aw, hell, you know!
Well, I've learned before that there are some things you may want that you just can't have because they are illegal or cost too much money, but there are some things you really want that you know you can never have not because they are illegal or expensive, but because they are way too fucking complicated to even attempt to even talk about.
There are some thoughts that just muck up the gears of everyday life too much to even think about bringing up, but they reside in forefront of ones mind, nonetheless.
Why can such a simple action such as saying something you want to be so hard to do sometimes? If I could play god, I would remake people so that you can say what's on your mind and not be judged for it. Unfortunately, we live in a world, though, where people hold preconceptions that they judge people off of. I'm not emo, just confused as a muthafukka. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
A curious thing happened the other day. I was looking at porn and I also happened to be multitasking, then it struck me. No, it wasn't flying debris--I had the tissue firmly positioned--a thought came (came, get it haha) to my mind. Why do I masturbate so much? Hell, why do so many people, men and women, masturbate so much?
It is a question I think I could answer using Darwinian logic and social theories. For example, the Darwinian theory would have it that mammals (including people) find an orgasm pleasurable so that they can procreate, and social theories would complete that by saying that society forces people to seek means of getting an orgasm by not having sex unless they are in a serious relationship, thus masturbation. But I want to get to some meaning that people can understand whether they have taken biology and sociology or not.
One thing is certain. We all know who the people are who never masturbate or have never had an orgasm. They are the people that seem as though a ten foot metal rod has been shoved up their rectum. They are the people that act more like robots than humans. They are the people we like to call AP........er, nevermind. One thing is certain: if you've never had an orgasm, you have denied yourself of the most incredible physical sensation known to nature. It is also one of the cheapest drugs known to man. For a girl it's free (or a one time expenditure of around 40 dollars if you want to get fancy); For guys, it costs about 5 cents for one time if you are clean about it.
So why do people have orgasms? Because it makes them happy! If you have ever talked to someone after they have blown a load, they are probably the nicest, happiest person you will ever talk to. When someone goes to heaven and back, they are not going to be upset or mad about anything. All they can think about is that in order to see the light, you can have your eyes rolled back in your head and your eyelids shut.
So to everybody and anybody out there. As they would say on a Nike commercial, "Just do it!" I don't care how you do it, just remember to be safe about it. I mean, lock your door and tell your parents you are studying. Just kidding. This feeling is what brings humanity together, it is what unites everyone under one flag, and that metaphorical flag is a big, fat orgasm. So join me (not really, just in spirit) in creating a happier world--experience the orgasm!
Well, it's official. As of about 3 hours ago I reached the legal age of 18 (I still have to wait 8 hours to actually be 18), so I decided I would go out and get porn and cigarettes.
I went into Dr. Johns, and the guy checking I.D.'s at the door asked me, "Have you been waiting outside?" (I came in right at 12:00). I responded by telling him that luckily traffic had made it so that I got there directly on time (that's the truth). After looking around for awhile, I realized that the sex business is ridiculously overpriced. I was planning on walking out of there with some sort of toy, but I didn't want to spend 50 dollars or more on a penis pump, and I certainly wasn't going to buy a dildo or pocket pussy. So I went the more modest route and walked out (after paying of course) with a "Just 18" magazine (how fitting for me!).
Then, Tommy and I ventured to the local grocery store, Hy-Vee, and I bought a pack of Marlboro Lights. Yes, I did smoke one, but I set the rest of the cigs on the counter of Diane T's house, and I don't plan to go back and pick them up.
On the whole (or mostly) the night was pretty good. I had hung out with Rob and Krajeski before the 18 extravaganza took place, and tommy and I, while wearing polo shirts and pale skin, blasted Chingy at westroads mall. Let's just say there were quite a few brothas hanging out outside. Tommy just about had a heart attack, and I was laughing pretty hard, too.
Other than that, though, the day was pretty boring, and I didn't really do anything until 4 in the afternoon. Well, that's my day, and I will be expecting birthday presents from all of you. If I don't receive one from you, I will be very offended and I could very well just end our friendship. Make checks payable to me, and remember that checks less than $200 will not be considered gifts. Cya later.
I will leave you with this list of things I'm excited to do now that I'm 18. There is no particular order.
1.buy porn
2.buy porn and sell it to minors
3.buy cigs and sell them to minors
4.be on MTV's road rules and/or real world
5.star in a porn movie
6.direct a porn movie
7.Vote
8.Buy guns and/or ammunition
9.shoot heroin
10.shoot guns
11.shoot the moon (hearts--gambling on indian reservations)
12.buy things from tv infomercials
13.do dangerous jobs such as construction
14.get a piercing
15.get a tattoo
16.follow in peewee herman's footsteps (to jail)
17.wear huggies pull-ups
18.pee pee and poo poo like the big boys
19.drive in europe
20. everything I didn't say already but that I can do now that I couldn't before
Well, I'm going away to Salt Lake city for a week for the national debate tournament. It should be fun cause there are going to be a lot of different people there from all over the country. Let's just hope that the other debaters have a wild side!
Regardless of what I have said before, I will miss everybody that I hang out with usually or on occasion, and I will miss aim, but this is a very good time to go on vacation for a week. Hopefully when I get back I will not be as "emo" as everyone says I am being. Well, for now, Saionara, and I wish you all an awesome week.
I leave you now with some song lyrics that should inspire you to have fun this week!
"It's the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin' that body
Got ev'ry man in here wishin'
Sippin' on coke and rum (rum)
I'm like so what I'm drunk (drunk)
It's the freakin' weekend
Baby I'm about to have me some fun (fun)"
This question has been on the top of my mind recently, and I have thought about it a lot. One thing that has bugged me lately is that I'm not having fun doing things that I had fun doing last year and earlier this year.
I have basically gotten tired of hanging out with friends and not doing anything or trying anything new. The same ol' same ol' is starting to get real boring. Also, a lot of the stuff I just started to enjoy recently has gotten bad because of some of the people that I have to do these activities with.
Basketball and Frisbee are a good example of things that I really don't like anymore. A lot of the people I play with are really quite bad people to play any sort of sports game with. They often take the fun out of it and turn it into an irritating competition.
I think many of the people I hang out with on occasion have hang-ups that make certain situations akward or not fun at all.
Sexuality is something that is pissing me off the most. Some people I know deny the chance to act on this, and others don't know how to go about this. I am getting really bored of everything being non-sexual, but I always have a sausage fest around, so I really have no choice.
I do have to say though that I genuinely like all my friends that i hang out regularly, but if i slow down hanging out with you, it's because I have gotten tired of some of the stuff we do/don't do.
I felt like blogging, but I didn't know what to say.
So I came to the realization about five minutes ago that the majority of my blogs were written after I came home at night, and I was bored of doing other activites such as IMing and surfing the web.
This made me bring up a very important question. Do i blog just to waste time?
This question has sat in the back of my mind mostly because when I just want to waste time, I do absolutely nothing, but it seems that blogging is a good timewaster. I have also noticed that other bloggers put up posts very late at night when they have nothing better to do. So do we really put a strong value on our blog, or is it just a place for our bored mind to think out loud?
Certainly, many of us have thought about something for a long time, and they eventually put this thought into blog form. There also seems to be the type of blog that recaps a night. This blog is the most popular, and it seems fitting that it would be written late at night.
Something I wondered before I joined combatrhino, and I still wonder now is why people blog. This is a question that I do not always know the answer to, sometimes when I read my blog and don't care, and sometimes when I read other people's blogs and don't care. Hell, i don't even know why I thought of blogging about this, but it is something that I thought needed to get out, so I put it out.
Anyway, on another note, I have had sort of an interesting week. My mood has been really different than usual ever since Sunday, and I've been sort of bipolar, but my mood is starting to center. Today was probably the first day when I felt mostly normal. I'm happy for that, and I expect things to get better.
Other than that though, I don't really have anything to say. Catch ya on the flip side.
I took down my other blog entry because I feel like that question can remain unanswered for now.
Now, I want to ask another question. How do you know when you really want something, or when you want yourself to really want something? I think this is an important question that I have had to ask myself a lot in the past two days, and if you don't know the answer to this, then things will not work for you. This is however, something that must come from the individual, not one person can tell you what you want but you, not even your parents or your closest friends. Sometimes though, in periods of confusion, it can be important to take into consideration your friends' opinions.
I learned this the hard way. I thought that I really wanted something recently, but after thinking for very long, I decided that I didn't follow my instinct, and I forced myself and someone else into something that could not work because it was something neither of us really wanted.
Judge me if you must, but consider this, I made a bad decision based on other people's, possibly society's judgement, so in that case, my lack of inherent decision making caused me emotional turmoil. You should never mistake someone else's decision for you as your own decision, because you should never have any question whether you like the decision you made and the action you took.
Perhaps stupidity is helpful in this scenario, and this may be the reason humans may never become too smart. But for whatever it's worth, in order for a decision to work, you must feel the right decision, not think it. Ok, sorry, there needs to be a disclaimer. If you think about a decision, and it just never feels good, then don't accept it, but you must think about it and consider all the facts.
Well, I leave you now, and I'm ready for the anonymous comments to start pouring in............just kidding.