"Analogy:
Perhaps the reason a phrase becomes trite is because it will always be true. Thus, when you hear the phrase "Women are like cars" and groan, you are groaning because you know it is true and are just ignoring the obvious. In fact, the similarities between women and cars are numerous, so it is time that some of them were explained.
We’ll start with the obvious similarities. Women and cars are both objects, and deserve to be treated as such. Obviously it doesn’t make sense for an object to talk, so if your object talks, be sure to get rid of it immediately.
Second, women and cars are only good for one thing. The ride. The level of pleasure you get from the ride often depends on how it looks and how much mileage you get for your money. Whatever the case, you get complete satisfaction only when the object is completely filled up.
One of the most discouraging similarities between women and cars is their unreliability. It seems that both objects seem to go through periods where they are dysfunctional. During these period they won’t do what you ask of them, and are generally not fun to be around. The only way to solve this problem is to have the object fixed. An effective method of getting the object to do what you want is through slapping - the rear end works best.
Fortunately, cars and women are both easily manipulated. To turn them on, just slip right in. Just press the right buttons and they will do all the work for you. Note that the correct way to ride the object is facing forward, but driving in reverse has its positive features as well. Remember that the object you are driving must always be submissive. If it isn’t, pull out of the situation fast.
Cars and women come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
One feature that applies to both women and cars is cost. To start, both will cost you a fortune to keep around for a long time. Always remember that, like cars, a woman’s value depreciates greatly after you ride it for the first time. Never invest in either of these objects because in the long run, they just aren’t worth the money.
It is silly to say that women and cars are the exact same thing. It should be known that cars can pick up women, but women can’t pick up cars. The most common thought is that cars seem to have an actual use whereas women don’t. Also women have the unfortunate ability to be able to talk. This makes one further appreciate the benefits of owning a car instead of a woman.
Yeah, women really are a lot like cars. The faster the better. There are also many other remarkable coincidences which makes you wonder: are women and cars the same? NO WAY! Why demean cars?"
I fucking Love Matt Smith, Whoa!
Love, Rob
Posted by rob at February 28, 2008 9:24 AMWow... just wow...
I was blind. Here I was, thinking women deserved respect, deserved to be treated equally. But now the answer is so obvious...
No wonder I've been single so long. All I have to do is slap the bitch and stick it in her anyway.
Thank you Rob! Now I know what path I must take!
Time to go pimp some hoes!
Posted by: Dan Gruppo at February 28, 2008 10:30 AMwhoa! geeze talk about emo!!!!!! robbie. . do what makes you happy & stop trying to please your dad. youre not ryan and youre not close and thats what he wants you to be like. take a semester off and travel. live life and dont have regrest. you only get one life.. so live it! XOXO
Posted by: karebear at February 28, 2008 10:32 AMEMO!! live your life for you, not anyone else. you only get one life so make sure to live each to the fullest. take risk and dont have regrets. and remember your bestie LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES you. ;)
Posted by: karebear at February 28, 2008 10:34 AMHey Rob I agree with you about most of this stuff. Life sucks and I'll never get to win a Superbowl. Instead retards with horrible downs named Eli get to.
I think the time your stuff was created in can give you some explanation. That was the crappiest semester of everybody in the class 04's life! I remember I just sat on my side of my cramped dormroom with headphones on.
I like the quote about 'not different just more mature less emotional' I think that idea is maybe true, but maturity comes with the power to control emotion durps.
I am in journalism class right now and we just had a spelling test and I got about 8 out of 30 right.
I spent today writing an 'advance obituary' for Yao Ming. I'm going to post it in the f ball league.
Also - Matt Smith is good as GOLD baby! He makes so many good points. but the true question is if women are like cars what are men like? faster, stronger dumber cars? harrier cars that shit and eat more about talk about shitting and eating more?
Posted by: Joel at February 28, 2008 6:50 PMthis made me laugh. the cars. everything. the comments.
you love women. i know you do, you think some women are so amazing. you're a man, man. and you love the wo-man. ahhaha.
i want to be a moped.
Posted by: jayme at February 29, 2008 9:34 AMStupid. Virgin.
Posted by: A woman at March 2, 2008 5:36 PMI like my women like I like my cars. Heavy and metallic. And asexual. I miss you, don't be emo.
Posted by: Naimul at March 4, 2008 9:31 PMhaha mannn your sexist attitude is rubbing off on me. everyone is sexist. but not everyone embraces it as gracefully as you. a few more things that chicks have in common with cars:
1) you can take both out for test drives. based on their performance, you then decide how large of an investment you want to make. your bid will most likely be based on how many dents, scratches, and miles are on the object. looking up the vin# in the public records helps b/c then u can tell if it is lying about her mileage and how many owners it has had. and if someone is willing to offer more than you, then you just keep test driving other objects.
2) you can rent them for the night. this would be most useful when your main object is a) in the "shop", b) in your garage back home when you are in another city on a business trip, or even c) getting old.
3) both will drive you crazy
Posted by: nate the asshole at May 12, 2008 12:35 AM