What if I could somehow figure out the tracklisting and cd title of every mix cd I have ever made and put it on the internet for everyone to see? It would be like the soundtrack to my life, if anyone was ever curious enough to listen. If you paid attention, you could probably tell a lot about what I was doing and what I was probably thinking about during the time when each cd was made. If a few songs happened to find their way into my mixes more than once, then that could be a clue that my head is still somewhat in the same place it was when the song last appeared. I also think looking at the vast array of peculiar names that I scribble on each cd after its completion could be interesting. I mean, you might think you’d be able to tell from titles like “Tweak” and “I’m an adult now, Back Off” what kind of music I was listening to, but you probably have no idea. I also have made my dad two father’s day mix cds, I’ve made cds for girls, and I’ve made cds and much larger mixes on my laptop for parties (techno has been da bomb). I think it’d be interesting to have all of these things documented. It’s be like a 'musicology' (<- is that what that even means?)
It seems that, now following this website's fresh kickoff, perhaps a certain kind of introduction is in order. To save others and myself from public scrutiny, I will recount some current highlights of my life under the nom de plume, MartyWillenholly.
With only four days remaining before my return to school, I must say I'm bummed about what has happened to the tight bonds I made while growing up in Omaha. My bff decided it was a good idea to leave Omaha behind. His excuse is that he is set out on a truth seeking ego trip in the imaginary kingdom of nonsense he has created in Iowa City. I visited him twice this summer and each time I witnessed how my friend had more closely resembled the infamous lunatic Kurtz, deeply lost in the Heart of Darkness. He and I don't talk much and I'm beginning to feel what it is like to leave a man behind.
But it's not like I don't still live with some of his influence. Because of him, I do drugs. I don't do real drugs and I don't do as many drugs as say ocsonordrummer does, but definitely more drugs than NewFoundmoore does. I mean drugs are really fun to share with people while hanging out or to lift the weight of unnecessary stresses, but really, excessive drug partying tends to ruin a lot of good things. By the time you feel addiction make the call for drugs, your innocent intentions of intoxicant fun are no longer justifiable.
As a result of shibby treats' influence, his soulmate, singlegreensock, has been keeping me in close company. This way she has access to drugs, can talk to someone who might understand something about her man drama, and can possibly be reminded of him by spending time with me. Not a day goes by without her recycling through her priceless memories of shibby treats, all performed on soap boxes for anyone who will listen. It's obviously been torture, but the point is, my advice is never good enough anyway, so these times can be intensely annoying and frustrating. All is well I'm sure, as they will likely reunite before the year ends.
I'm going to miss rockinsocks28 and oryansnebula16 like brothers. They've had my back on all causes and I don't know how I can thank them except by drunk dialing them like 5 times each. They helped me realize that it's okay, not pathetic, that every time I've had drama with a woman it has taken place entirely on the internet, because that's the only place I ever will have any kind of drama anyways. I'm too closed off and paranoid outside of my room to ever take a chance in real life. These guys both have bigger dongs than king kong, and the lovely ladies know it.
At school, I'll be on a mission to make saranrapjs, chyzwhiz, and rickylee4 proud. I'll be debating, taking a creative writing class, and hopefully figuring a lot of things out for real this time.
So I got this idea to try to have a song break-down sesh in blog format. I really am a person who believes in the wonders of music mediation, I'm not bullshitting; and because of that, I can talk with people about music and songs because for me a particular song can easily turn into an obsession, and it is always so easy to talk about your obsessions. So because I appreciate theme and mood based music conversation, I'd like to blog an example of the kind of thinking one might use to feel like they understand a song.
This blog's song choice: Ben Folds - Best Imitation of Myself
Background of Song Relevance in my Life: So I never really got into Ben Folds until Ben Folds Five had actually already broken up. My nerdy debate coach, who was nerdier and stupider than me, would play Ben Folds Live on our long car rides to and from debate tournaments. I think I was obsessed with this girl at the time, so Ben's positioning of himself as an unworthy love puppy, who sings because he would never get the girl anyway, really connected with me, and his music soon sunk into my preferences. The feeling emitted by the song I picked to dissect today blazes with the high spirits of a thriving independence. This high feeling (as opposed to low) song overpowers much of lonely gruff Ben Folds listeners are often exposed to.
So you can listen to the song before you read my thoughts on it, I placed it on the internet here for you to download.
I guess we can just go through it together. Sound fun?
Pretense: So this break down method isn't a way to try and prove the once and forever secret messages hidden within lyrics artists have left for their fans to forever ponder. It's just my thinking as Ben is singing his song, telling me his story. I'm just trying to see if I understand what the song is about, see if I can make it make sense to me. And I think the best way of doing that has to be listening to the words being sung and paying attentions to the kind of expressions involved.
Here is what I think:
Bold = lyrics
I feel like a quote out of context
Withholding the rest
So I can be free what you want to see
So far we have someone (I always assume it's a man because Ben is singing) who is out of their element and definitely doesn't have any people who really know him around to police his character. He makes the choice to let people believe whatever they want to believe about him, which allows him to act however he wants, do whatever he thinks will work.
I got the gesture and sound
Got the timing down
It's uncanny, yeah, you think it was me
He's been faking his way around enough to become good at it.
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my southern accent
He's willing to try hard to get rid of the things that give him away. It could also be a joke, however.
Did I make me up, or make the face till it stuck
I do the best imitation of myself
He can be fake a lot, to the point where he is fake a majority of the time, but in a good, exciting sort of way.
The "problem with you" speech
You gave me was fine
I liked the theories about my little stage
He realizes that putting on a show can be stupid.
And I swore I was listening
But I started drifting
Around the part about me acting my age
He's not really going to change a damn thing.
Now if it's all the same
I've people to entertain
I juggle one handed
Do some magic tricks and
The best imitation of myself
I'm a really cool entertainer and I love it because I am exceptional.
Maybe I'm thinking myself in a hole
Wondering, who I am when I ought to know
He thinks about whether or not he should be thinking about what he is thinking about.
Straighten up now time to go
Fool somebody else, fool somebody else
Zing! Now it's time be to awesome again.
Last night I was east with them
And west within
Trying to be for you what you wanna see
He sometimes puts on a facade of artificial coast allegiance as a way to make people like him.
But I can't help it with you
The good and bad comes through
Don't want you hanging out with
No one but me
He knows she knows what's wrong with him and that she loves him anyway, but he doesn't want her to reveal what she knows to anyone, he's sensitive.
Now if it's all the same
It comes from the same place
And if my mind's somewhere else
You won't be able to tell
I do the best imitation of myself
Yes it's uncanny to see
You'd really think it was me
The best imitation of myself
The best imitation of myself
But really he is purely confident is being awesome.
So I'd love to hear peoples opinions of this song or maybe their opinion of whether or not they think they figure out songs like I have figured this one out.
Hello Washington. I'm so happy that, just before the setting of this 'summer of the red sun', we are grouping together some amazing people, whom I am going to miss, into an adventurous web community!! Our best men down at the Wandy Teeth Goof Factory have been pondering ways to more boldly smear the spirit behind our typed word across the internet.
And, while on the enormously underdiscussed subject of the internet, I think one of those super exciting revelation/pipedream lightning bolts zapped in my head within the last day or so. I'm doing writing stuff at school and since I use the internet to live and breath, what if, WHAT IF, a destined career of mine would involve unleashing my opinions on inquisitive readers of the internet. I would enjoy writing about anything I have an opinion about and I'm sure I'd feel comfortable with the probable effort/profit tradeoff.
In the fashion world, I am stacked with marvelous footwear and have been picking up good garbs from J Sizzy's store. I have something like 6 pink shirts now, which is getting a little redic, but after all, I should get to wear the color if I helped start the trend. My misplaced glasses are causing me stress problems. I need them to drive at night sometimes and I know I will need them for a lot of classes at school, but I've never been serious about wearing glasses and I don't really want to ask for new ones. I think I will end up writing a note and leaving the issue to my parents.
As a fair warning, I have been very horny lately. I leave the 30th, but until then, feel free to hop on! Because, after all, you've got to get what you need.
Now more than ever I'd like to express my appreciation that I have the internet as a place to drain all of my thoughts, no matter what they sound like. Read this article: http://www.heritage.org/Research/AsiaandthePacific/bg1806.cfm
In the second biggest country in the world, you cannot dissent from the ruling political ideology while playing in the cyber world without going to jail.
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