Joel F

PolemicDave is the least credible source for entertainment I can think of

It seems that, now following this website's fresh kickoff, perhaps a certain kind of introduction is in order. To save others and myself from public scrutiny, I will recount some current highlights of my life under the nom de plume, MartyWillenholly.

With only four days remaining before my return to school, I must say I'm bummed about what has happened to the tight bonds I made while growing up in Omaha. My bff decided it was a good idea to leave Omaha behind. His excuse is that he is set out on a truth seeking ego trip in the imaginary kingdom of nonsense he has created in Iowa City. I visited him twice this summer and each time I witnessed how my friend had more closely resembled the infamous lunatic Kurtz, deeply lost in the Heart of Darkness. He and I don't talk much and I'm beginning to feel what it is like to leave a man behind.

But it's not like I don't still live with some of his influence. Because of him, I do drugs. I don't do real drugs and I don't do as many drugs as say ocsonordrummer does, but definitely more drugs than NewFoundmoore does. I mean drugs are really fun to share with people while hanging out or to lift the weight of unnecessary stresses, but really, excessive drug partying tends to ruin a lot of good things. By the time you feel addiction make the call for drugs, your innocent intentions of intoxicant fun are no longer justifiable.

As a result of shibby treats' influence, his soulmate, singlegreensock, has been keeping me in close company. This way she has access to drugs, can talk to someone who might understand something about her man drama, and can possibly be reminded of him by spending time with me. Not a day goes by without her recycling through her priceless memories of shibby treats, all performed on soap boxes for anyone who will listen. It's obviously been torture, but the point is, my advice is never good enough anyway, so these times can be intensely annoying and frustrating. All is well I'm sure, as they will likely reunite before the year ends.

I'm going to miss rockinsocks28 and oryansnebula16 like brothers. They've had my back on all causes and I don't know how I can thank them except by drunk dialing them like 5 times each. They helped me realize that it's okay, not pathetic, that every time I've had drama with a woman it has taken place entirely on the internet, because that's the only place I ever will have any kind of drama anyways. I'm too closed off and paranoid outside of my room to ever take a chance in real life. These guys both have bigger dongs than king kong, and the lovely ladies know it.

At school, I'll be on a mission to make saranrapjs, chyzwhiz, and rickylee4 proud. I'll be debating, taking a creative writing class, and hopefully figuring a lot of things out for real this time.