Jmac and cheese

jean benet damnsy

Yesterday. wooooooweeee. If yesterday was a movie it would be titled "we pissed a lot of people off and nearly escaped certain death". By we I mean Joel, Samara, Jay siz and myself. I will not however cover the entire day of shenanigans. I will merely cover the night portion of the activities (see joel or jay siz'z (<--awesome) blog for the other portions).

After a short stint of frisbee tossing at the main field of WHS, Joel, the Jeffs and Samara decided they needed to stimulate the creative lobes of their brains. Their creativity could not be bound by the small dimensions of a mere piece of paper, nay, they craved for a larger canvas; the world. They thought and pondered what part of the world they wanted to make beautiful and concluded that Omaha's Memorial park was the place to produce, portray, and depict.

With a lifesize canvas, the foursome needed equally lifesize drawing utensils. Paints of any sort seemed too pesky and permanent, not flexible enough for the ever changing creativity lodged in the craniums of the four artistic do-gooders. Alas, a perfect harmony of flexibility and beauty was reached. Sidewalk chalk. Although this tale seems innocent now, what follows is not for the tame of heart. I interviewed joel for more.

roCkinsOCKS28: sir what is your name?
MartyWillenholly: Joel
roCkinsOCKS28: explain what you were doing on monday night
MartyWillenholly: Dude, so on Monday, after a few of us got done playing frisbee at the field, we went to Memorial to have fun with sidewalk chalk
roCkinsOCKS28: what exactly did you color?
MartyWillenholly: everybody decided they wanted to get on top of the statue in the middle of the place, so they could give the army dudes some color

roCkinsOCKS28: what happened next?
MartyWillenholly: ok so just when the statues were looking good and Jmac was putting the finishing touches on the metal soldiers lower lip hair, a skeez ball marched across the field. he was majorly angry and a major wanker
MartyWillenholly: he was headed for us
roCkinsOCKS28: what did he have to say?
MartyWillenholly: Well he was pissed that we were touching the statues. He was very agressive in trying to get us to stop, saying things like "Dude, that's not straight. That's not straight dude. That's our military." We said we'd stop, but that made him more pissed, i guess because he didn't have any reason to be mad anymore
roCkinsOCKS28: what happened then?
MartyWillenholly: So the fun scene was squashed and we were headed out of there, and the guy had more to say about his military. He was like "Hey, no, how about you guys clean that off?" which was stupid cause even the lightest drizzle would have washed it off. Jmac yacks back "Go for it dude." and the guy gets even more pissed and insecure about his morals and says "Hey why don't you guys wait here while i call the cops?" We were like, sweet army dude, what happened to Don't Ask Don't Tell? We knew we werent in any legal trouble, but he ruined the mood we tried to leave, but that's when the worst of it happened
roCkinsOCKS28: the worst? please explain.
MartyWillenholly: This guy must have taken that Ladder drug, from Jaccob's Ladder, where you can't tell the difference between friend or foe and just want to be violent. I drove down the one lane exit in my dads blue pickup, ahead of Jmac and Jsizz, and of course this guy stands in the way and we can't get out.
roCkinsOCKS28: what did you do?
MartyWillenholly: I slowly creeped the car ahead, but eventually he made it hard for me to move any further. I rolled down the window and yelled "Let us through". He had a bottle of water and a shirt or something and wanted us to wash off the chalk. Some bickering continued and eventually it got intense
roCkinsOCKS28: explain the intensity
MartyWillenholly: Well this guy wasn't listening and we just wanted to leave, so I kept inching the car forward and he said "Don't touch me dude, if you touch me we are going to have a big problem." So when I moved up again he was like "You are touching me dude, you are touching me. Get out of the car!" That's when he pulled out his knife.

(Thats right, this d00d pulled out a KNIFE. WOOOHHHH -jmac) When I saw it, I thought it was so rediculous I yelled "Oh my god! What the f*ck are you doing? Let us through!" He saw that I was freaked out by the knife so he gripped it in his hand and positioned the knife into a stabbing motion towards the hood of my car.
MartyWillenholly: i have to ria huge
roCkinsOCKS28: go for it
MartyWillenholly: done
roCkinsOCKS28: cou
roCkinsOCKS28: where were we
MartyWillenholly: hood of my car
roCkinsOCKS28: right right. how did you escape this peril
MartyWillenholly: Really I think we were saved from this bad news dude when pretty much all of his friends told him to let us leave. It was like some kind of pissing contest where you are allowed to use knives, that we never signed up for in the first place
MartyWillenholly: I mean compare a guy who draws with chalk to a guy who stabs with knives
roCkinsOCKS28: definantly a valid comparison.
roCkinsOCKS28: you escaped safely after his friends discouraged his maniacal behavior?
MartyWillenholly: yes
MartyWillenholly: but not a day has gone by since where I haven't thought about it
roCkinsOCKS28: what did the attacker look like?
MartyWillenholly: he was a pretty tall shit bag looking guy. He has glasses and poorly gelled hair. He probably punches women when he is drunk and crys with his head in his hands about them when he is not
roCkinsOCKS28: any other things you want noted?
MartyWillenholly: wandyteeth reigns victorious

After this event we reflected on the whole thing. Though poorly conveyed the crazed man's message may have been, hey may have had a point. All of us felt at least a twinge of guilt for drawing on the memorial statue. Personally, I concluded that our actions were not malicious in their intent, nor did it appear so, and thus I cleared my concience. Jay siz concluded:
saranrapjs: that it is depressing that there is no room in todays environment for silly things
saranrapjs: like it couldnt have been clearer that we werent paramilitaries trying to fuck the man
saranrapjs: we were coloring bright colors on a statue
saranrapjs: but it somehow got skewed that we were making like some grand statement.

This man started as a self rightious man who thought he had a message, and then completely lost any rightiousness and moral standings when he whipped out his dagger (not his penis). That man exemplefies what makes things ugh. I think by handling the situation the way we did, we were in fact victorious.

Posted by Jmac and cheese at August 31, 2005 02:20 AM