Jeff S

All tommorow's parties

The week wraps up, and I am nearing time to leave. But I am always doin thangs, plus I still have wonderful people here.

I can guarantee that if you read all of this, you will be pleased. There are three items total, and they are all weehoo, so grab some fruit snacks.
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There are several new things going about on the site. On the main page sidebar, you will see two new faces (literally/figuratively).
One is the Wandyteeth Widget. For those who have Mac OS X 10.4 (if you go to Westside, this is you), you can download this fuddy duddy little thing to keep ups on who's got the hottest game on tha site. It is really pretty looking, so if you have the capability, download it.
The other thing is the Advice man. The theory here, (although you should check it yourself) is that a lot of people in this world are in dire need of quick advice. Or long advice. We have lots to dole out. Honey pots full.

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a couple of days ago, Joel, Jeff M, and later when I was not there Liz G, participated in a Blue Flamingo Thrift Store sponsored squirt gun extravaganza.

this meant a fun afternoon for us! and a watery death for any who crossed our path

The primary activities were held at Elmwood park, where we learned the ways of our neon colored blasters, practiced on unsuspecting and pseudo-rebellious smoking teenagers. but bigger and better things were in store for the three

things like providing cooling services to high schoolers exiting the high school. some may see this as juvenile, or even Immature. but until you have felt the joy of squirting unsuspecting subjects, do not judge.

okay judge, but just a little bit. like a teaspoon. we rounded this off with squirting of crosswalkers at the nearby crosswalk. at this point shouts of glee were emitted and duly noted by the secretary.

for the second part of this wild and generally joyous day (which happened to be joel's last in omaha), read Jmac's blog in the near future

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and finally, an item again that has been on my mental table, this time since grade school. It is even relevant given recent current events.

A preoccupation I had in my formative years was the search for a natural-disaster-less state. I think its easy to empathize with the fear a kid has about the statistically infrequent, like earthquakes or volcanoes, just because they are so dang scary. movies don't help this fear either.

so, for Children's reference book lovers or the causal paranoid, I present

An Informal And Biased List Of United States Which Seem Pretty Safe To Me
with non-important words capitalized for emphasis

Arkansas
Idaho
Indiana - Probation
Montana - Probation
Nevada
Ohio
Pennsylvania
South Dakota
Utah
Vermont
West Virginia
Wyoming

Dangerous: Rhode Island (Every point in "The Ocean State" is claimed to be within 30 miles of sea water)

Here are the Natural Disasters I used for safety estimation (as derived from the wonderful Wikipedia):

Common natural phenomena that can result in natural disasters
1.1 Blizzards and snowstorms
1.2 Drought
1.3 Earthquake
1.4 Epidemic
1.5 Famine
1.6 Flood
1.7 Forest fire
1.8 Hailstorm
1.9 Heat wave
1.10 Hurricanes, also known as Tropical Cyclone or Typhoon
1.11 Ice storm
1.12 Lahar
1.13 Landslides and mudslides
1.14 Sinkholes
1.15 Tornado
1.16 Tsunami
1.17 Volcanic eruption
2 Extreme natural disasters
2.1 Ice age
2.2 Impact event
2.3 Solar flare
2.4 Supervolcano
2.5 Megatsunami

The Extreme Natural Disasters were included for emphasis.

I will explain briefly my choices. I made a few first broad cuts, sort of like the popular coach with the nerds in every movie ever. For instance, any state touching the ocean was disqualified. Any state containing too much water was put into serious consideration for removal. Most of the other choices were fine tuned and individualized. For instance, I have never outright heard that New Hampshire and Vermont are dangerous states. But they are so small, it just seems like its plausible. Maybe from snow or something? Also, Alaska and Hawaii were not included because of the numerous natural disasters that can occur when traveling. Additionally, Islands are not safe, even arctic islands like Alaska.
The other issue that might come up is why I put the on the probation states (Montana/Indiana) on probation. If you have read any of the previous stuff, you would know Indiana is because of its connection to the lakes (I kept it because it just sounds too safe/boring to have natural disasters happen. I literally sang the gary Indiana song). With Montana, the state is too large and too much of it touches Canada, a country which touches the north pole, to be overtly safe, but other than it having no speed limits, I am not familiar enough with Montana to make that decision.
Also, Ohio was kept because even more so than Indiana, it seems too insulated to not be safe.

And an addendum, you are allowed to debate any of this. If I deem it appropriate, I will update the list with new additions/subtractions. Watch out for those Lahars, though.

Revitalift

Here is something that has been on my brain's docket for long enough. Add it to the list of things that I think about. often.

Is anyone familiar with Andie MacDowell?

(from wikpedia)

that picture may help some. I remembered her too, but from what exactly?

Her Bio (googled)

Andie first gained notice from her appearances in some sexy TV ads for Calvin Klein jeans in the early '80s. Her starring role as a sexually repressed woman in 1989's Sex, Lies, and Videotape made her a movie star. She's since appeared in such films as Groundhog Day (1993), Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) and Town & Country (2001).

I will give her Muppets in Space (not listed), for her career benefit and because I seem to remember it being a good movie. However, to make perfectly clear, Andie MacDowell has seen better days (and so has her comedy counterpart, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, which gets into my theory of comedy/tragedy counterpoint appearance actors, heralded by Helen Hunt/Jodie Foster).

So why is it, given her relative fade (if this can be contested, please do, I am not familiar with her work) that she is on my permanent radar?

L'Oreal Paris. Revitalift. Its lifting, wrinkles no come back, go away. She is now an omnipresent tv-commercial star. We are talking TBS/TNT/USA, John Basedow-style audience penetration here, the masses. Someone must have payed a lump sum to have her on TV for 10 years advertising anti-aging cream (presumably until the product stops working reliably).

I guess my underlying unanswered question is why the ad execs chose HER, over someone actually famous? It can't be for reasons of capital, a quick check at the L'Oréal roster and we can see Beyoncé's name, among others.
What about Andie is advertisible? I am not looking for concrete answers, I am just a confused TV watcher who enjoys logical advertising a little too much.

it comes pretty easy

Most people know about my athletic unprowess....
but does anyone know about my secret minor league baseball career?

Le Debut

The time between the fall of Combatrhino.com and the beginning Wandyteeth.com was simultaneously productive and lazy. Given the giant gaping hole left in our digital hearts, a new website was in order, and quick! But anyone with experience naming babies, puppies, cars, movie characters or hairstyles can empathize with why it took us nearly two weeks to come up with something suitable.

However, we are back, hopefully with renewed force and a few tricks up our sleeves. The lineup will probably change some (it already has), and we have a few other things in store. Anything that isn't working like it should can be addressed to me (jeffsisson at cox . net)

We are so popular, we were hired to do a gig at Westside High School's opening bonanza/festivale/carnivale/party/lecture. Who doesn't jump at the chance to educate the up-and-comers?

this guy was there

these guys were too.'

There were a lot of bizarre associated experiences. We spent some one on one time with our former principal (former on our ends), who in almost all cases, shared some of the same praises of westside(and criticisms, at least in regards to those who might criticize westside itself). I would say the only area I came out feeling opposed to was the official position on the whole Westside/Millard alliance (background).

Other than that it was enlightening to know that the administration generally sympathizes with students who don't like whiny parents/students. Additionally, there were interesting experiences had regarding the various degrees of craziness with different classes (for the sophomores, I was delighted to listen into an engaging conversation regarding how "Westside is such total BS" and how "I think I might still be drunk from last night").