Jeff S

he makes machines

first the gates
everytime it has snowed, thus far, some magical force has compelled me to take advantage of the weather. whether its cause is college, the snow, or the nyc, if its snowing it is guaranteed I am out there. so when I remembered that the metaphorical stars had aligned, the gates and snowfall, something of course had to be done. now is where I get way artsy on y'all

towards the beginning of the year, Jeanne Claude and Christo, the well-known artists who created this massivo projectus, spoke at my writing the essay lecture. for me this was undeniably cool, as they are so stereotypically french and art (yet another intersection of awesome in my book). and they are wrappers (pun city, usa). they have this credo that their art means nothing beyond the aesthetic, a modernist notion, but of course everyone else wants to force something onto them. but ms. jeanne claude and her fiery red hair shut down every idiotic repetition of the question "what does it mean?" don't you know better than to second guess a gaul? Souvenez-vous de ne jamais se disputer avec une personne Francaise!

so obviously I have been pumped about this event for months, which is amazing, considering the otherwise great lengths my spite box goes to surround me in bullshit reasons for not liking things. something about that saffron-ness. anyways this has nothing to do with sledding, but I guess what I am getting at is that if there is something that could be fun it is highly recommended that you do it. I am not saying that everything you do is fun, because it for sure is not. but if you see an opportunity, something you may never do again in your life, what is holding you back? certainly it is not the fact that you need a hall pass, or rather it shouldn't be.

this is a perfect segway into the next subbbbbbbbject
subway party?
at the cafeteria, madeline and I, two parts of the adventerous asexual trio (unless you count the presidents day video), reflected upon the fact that it was sad that somehow we had no plans due to dave being errmmmm OCCUPIED. madeline had school work to do, but the coolest guy in the world, the movie, the band, the musical, Eli is always down to be down.
anyways follow a twisted train of weird events and you get to the fact that rumor on the street (the figurative street because I think THE street is actually located somewhere in brooklyn. THE corner is not located far away. THE pizzeria is not far off either, where fomerly THE pizza deal [two slices and a pop for 3.90] was located. is anyone surprised at the emergence of so many THE bands out of new york anymore?) was that there was a subway party. who loves long paranthetical phrases?

now not that I am advocating the consumption of the alcohol, but has anyone seen that smirnoff commercial with a subway party? it was certainly cool enough in my advertising experience that I could tell you the exact song featured in it. basically, attractive people have a sweet party in a subway. cool eh?
well, while running slightly late with another one of eli's rad friendz borna, we were doubting whether this was even going to happen. but sure enough when we entered the union square subway station, we heard reverbed shouts and drumming. party much?

it actually took a while for the subway to come, during which I said hi to a bunch of people who were there that I more or less knew. I happened to be porting my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles headband (purple for donatello) and this was lucky. Because this was on the yellow line, the "broadway" N Q R W lines, this was an N party! nametags were being distributed by a madame in a bowtie, the rule was your costume (to be made up on the spot or whatever) had to begin with an N. well hey LUCKY ME ninja turtles ehhhh
and the train arrived!

all of these people were NYU people, so to be fair it wasn't exactly "hard core" as some might delineate. but it served its purpose.

here is the tom the eli the borna.

and a better view of the car itself. notice that there are non party people on here, how fun! although it was duly noted that the party was relatively wack.... though there were costumes, it doesn't really make it a party just because you are yelling "look at how much fun we are having at this partyyyyyyy"
also as you may have assumed, these were taken on mi cameraphoni. I hate that I didn't have a camera, but honestly nothing was going on SUPER interesting. I guess it served its purpose, though I never really wanted to have to announce the fact that I got a new phone in the first place.
anyways afterwards we deboarded due to boredom, and proceeded to take the train back downtown. we were in a crew with other kids, a group of 6 total, in a relatively empty car. then this dude just like sat next to me. I guess the awkwardness of this situation can't really be explained to people who haven't rode the subway, but needless to say it was awkward.
man I will never stop digging this city

-----
here is what the cool kidz are doing:
-the replacing of certain letters, s's with z's, i's with y's and the other way around
-the usage of the form "____town, USA" to describe nearly anything. here is dave's away message from last night:
"My Face
Pillow Avenue
Sleepville, USA
send me letters!!"
-WARNING VULGARITY: perhaps you have heard of the phrase "rock out with your cock out." well I hadn't. but in the vein of me thinking of awkwardly hilarious alternatives to using already specific grammatical forms, I created "malice with your phallus"

and lastly
perhaps you have noticed the cute little picture bar on my side
it is Flickr!
without being karl and reccomending EVERYthing, I have found this service to be quite invaluable, given that I usually take enough pictures to make it worth it. though for certain larger projects I will always require my own independent space, this is convenient for my daily photo needs

This is my crew (Westside)

00:25:27 Joel: so westside admin is now obsessed with cr

Recently, I have percolated on the subject of censorship in the grand ole WHS. Though I don't typically like to reflect on the halls and grandeur of my alma mater--I guess I have a sneaky fear that doing so is like crossing your eyes for too long---I feel like this is a topic worth discussion.

Due to the emergence of universal westside student computer access, the school has been much more concerned with the monitoring of student communications at school (and elsewhere, but I will get to that). The question, of course, is how much of this is good and why should you be concerned?

The intersection of technology, the administration, and me or my cohorts (too evil? how about GANG MEMBERS!) is definitely not new.
My first self-aware (websites that included gif animation don't count) venture into the internet was a fake site for those suffering from Loss of center of balance syndrome, which nearly costed Erik and I a trip to the dean's office. Well it was actually the flyers we got in trouble for, but thats besides the point (this was freshman year). Other projects which I'm sure attracted the attention of the administration, include but are not limited to: the Giant buddy list, mr. kingston's buddy icons (which I plan to update soon!), the maynards video, joel's class officer speech, controversy surrounding the regretful suicides of WHS students, and most recently something which most know about so I will choose to not post it here. The point is the Combatrhino Crew has been savvy and motivated for quite some time.

Remember suckside.tk? For those unaware, this was a site devoted to bashing westside, which was later shut down and prompted the near-expulsion and suspension of a few students a grade above me. This was before laptops invaded Westside, when the boundary between school use of computer and home use was still ambiguous. I am not intimately familiar with the rules, but I believe basically anything on the laptops is fair game, including anything viewed on the internet (combatrhino.com), whether you are at school or at home.

In light of very recent events, should you view the main page of combatrhino from WHS, you will be prompted with the following message (read: A message that me, Jeff Sisson, wrote for the purposes of warning you, combatrhino reader):

welcome westside personnages! With all the respect that is due to this fine institution itself (of which most are graduates or currently attending), I would only gently remind you that any and all communication (comments, blogs, IMs, emails) COULD be monitored. Not to freak you out, just a happy little reminder from your homeboy, the OG-Orwell, George. Happy rhino-ing! -The Combatrhino Staff

It may seem like a warning, but I assure you that the rebellious spirit is not lost or gone. I see it as more of an affront against the administration than a this-is-forbidden sign.
Truth be told, I don't have any specific beef with the administration, and I am not so insular that I can't realize that we had it pretty damn good at Westside. But an uncritical people is a sleeping people, so I still encourage you to visit combatrhino and post what you will and do what you want, just keeping the above in mind.

It is my understanding that all of xanga is blocked at school? And moreover that the technowizards keep watch on peoples' xangas? (in this regard the giant buddy list could be seen as a big favor to the administration, but I'm not too worried). Well then if you think about it, there is a reason why the Rhino still remains viewable.
In a general sense, I would like to believe that there is a reason why everyone who is combatrhino is here (though we really are open to anyone who wishes to join). Yes we are critical, but we never have resorted to saying class sucks (and again feel free to correct me, I don't always read everything, but I try). It is thus important for the administration to recognize that while, because of their literal ownership of the laptops and therefore controlled access, they do not own our minds (cliche). web publishing is different than whisper and gossip in that it is formalized, but I see this as a more constructive form of dialogue than some other "state-supported" formalized mediums at the school.
This problem scales to the concept of blogs in general. Most would be ignorant not to realize that the popularity of blogs is due to their relative lack of hierarchical supervision. So enjoy your free speech please, at school or elsewhere, the more diversity of opinion, the better. don't be a minga

Chester Garfield is frontin'

Given the new found glory of having President's Day off (cheap? no? maybe we should have a protest), it was determined at some point that something monumental should be done.
And this was determined by me, nearly a week before hand. So you can understand the sort of expectations I had set for myself and anyone I came in contact with.

For the sake of brevity, I will address this 72 hour capsule of fun first in short form, then in its entirety (keeping in mind it is not yet the holiday itself, so there is still a whole nother day to electorally kick it)

The first, another video from the star-studded film duo. Before you criticize, I suggest you watch for Dave's blog, who intends to address various facets of its awesomeness. I would only direct you, as hilariously pointed out by Erica H, towards a moment towards the end where I magically personify my father (in appearance and gait). czech it out
President's Day (mpeg video, 20 mb)

The rest of this weekend will be presented after the jump because I feel it is too large to clutter the main page. And I understand that you, the internet, are an impatient fellow, so I offer you this (which may or may not be the only picture of me featured....?!?)

I can promise you hasidic magic school bus scrawls, hipster malls, presidential assassination/sex mash ups, and lotz more

that picture was taken late on friday, at Wo Hop, one of the more caucasian-frequented restaurants in Chinatown, but none the less still good. in my mind, should the Chinese wednesday crew ever have an opportunity to just like eat chinatown, I could die content (though I was spiteful of the group at the time, admittedly)

intially in the week, Dave J, Madeline, (Monica?) and I had grandiose plans to go to Boston, Washington D.C. or Cape Cod were all considered, but later abandoned due to lack of effort/funds. So the destination was then narrowed to Montauk. But then around 4 a.m. sunday morning, this was scrapped in favor of brooklyn. Foreign cities => long island => another borough. but I was determined (watch the video!) to have fun

there are three gates to this mythic city, two shown here are the brooklyn and manhattan bridges. it was not clear which would hold the key to the

temple of groom, but it seems like a bridge named after the intended destination is likely to send us in the right direction (yes, we were mapless carmen sandiego).

obviously we had to relish in manhattan while we could

but it was time to leave. brooklyn is unique because so many different microcosms exist within a relatively small space. I feel like I have told the story of me in Brooklyn, literally making one wrong turn and going from art galleries to the projects, many times. the idea was to go as far as we could into the belly of the beast, searching for the ideal meal. it should be noted that I feel like nearly every "journey" that I am a part of is usually food related

we passed by urban neighborhoods, empty streets, discarded trash, Kennedy Fried Chicken, we had jarritos, we saw the coolest kid in the world from my French Class, and finally we delved into Williamsburg.

williamsburg is interesting because it is part orthodox jew part hipster. the jewish part is the most concentrated representation of a religion that I have ever seen (I have never been to the middle east though). we decided their garb is pretty emo.
then we entered hipstertown! williamsburg is like the more street version of the village, where we live. did you know that there is a hipster mall? a hipster mall? the world is devouring itself inside-out, like a warner brothers cartoon character.

we eventually found a suitable restaurant, not of any specific food genre, but it had tater tots (spare me napoleon dynamite, these have been good since elementary school). after walking an estimated 7 miles, this meal could have been vomit-baguette and it would have been the best meal EVER. it is cliché, but there is nothing better than extended physical work for making food taste delicious.
also, in post-facto but pre honor of presidents day, for some reason we thought it clever to combine names of assassinators of presidents/famous people with sexual terms. I'm sure you have way more clever ones, ours were relatively bad (yet awesome?) such as sirhan sirhandjob. its like the animals game but tougher

if you are blurring your eyes at this point and watch the OC, read this
everyone remember Marissa? How could you not? Her name is the new way of referring to drinking without purpose, and her face is so ambivalently, expressively delightful. well I ask you, what would be better than, say, Marissa + Motivational Math Posters????

I love New York

then this evening it was snowing. I don't know what prompts me to take pictures and compel myself to play in the snow EVERY time it snows, but I would feel like a dingleberry if I don't. so fun was had, this time sans Dave, plus Rachel, with Madeline.

snow angels

and

it was asserted that some people under the guidance of my camera are not presented in a good light. I argued that it is all up to the subject, and we at combatrhino know well how to practice our picture face

I hope you have stayed with me, but I certainly don't mind if you haven't. I am unaccustomed to this long form. love me still

Rolling in the free

Remember the free chaise? Take that perhaps indescribable feeling (could anyone associate? maybe not) and multiply it by 800.

It was discovered by hearsay that five locations in each of the five boroughs on friday would be having a giveaway of 100 free round-trip tickets from the airline JetBlue (if you are not familiar with them, they are uber popular because they are cheap, though they only serve certain locations). To get a ticket, you had to dress up as one of the JetBlue cities, and bring a canned good for a food drive. Obviously, this was an opportunity not to be missed. Though I realized I had a 6 hour class starting at 10 the next day, I gambled

Madeline, of Dave J fame, hypothesized that the location in Manhattan, located in the ever-popular ESPN Zone restaurant in Times Square, might not be ideal. Our options were the other boroughs, but we in the end decided on the Bronx as the ideal candidate. My costume was a mormon, from salt lake city

After a night of other fun, a group ventured out around 2 a.m. to get in a line for the give-away at 8 a.m. in the morning. To our surprise we were the first ones there! And it remained that way for quite a while, but slowly a line began to build. The situation was so positive that other friends of ours were invited; there were only a few people in line.

Then trouble started. Only the first 100 people in line would get tickets. There was no question that our friends were in the first 100, in fact they were probably in the first 30. We figured why not have them sit with us since order doesn't matter....but apparently to the philosophs north of Manhattan, this is against the rules. Now I won't deny that I am a man of rules, but what ensued can only be described as hilariously awkward.

Do you remember Lord of the Flies? It all makes sense now. A new order was attempted, unnofficial "lists" floated around the line of people, there were mumblings of a mutiny (a lady in a tiger hat proclaimed that it just wasn't fair). Apparently they don't understand the communicative property? 1 + 2=2 + 3. BUT NOT IN THE BRONX

Anyways, though some in our group had more gusto in defending our logically superior position, I had been just sitting for 4 hours in the cold, so I just coccooned in my blanket as the tension was way much to handle.

Luckily things settled, and we all got tickets! I can't decide if people outside of the people who had this magical experience even understand like the joy, but hopefully a fun weekend getaway to Nassau (bahamas!) or LA will be had in the near future.

Check out the visual documentation!!!!!!!!!!

mind games

I came up with this idea whilst thinking about the whole Lent concept, both in an ironic and totally un-ironic sense (you should comment on how self-obsessed I am and how this affects my attractiveness). I think it's nearly as good as my halloween costume

I am giving up giving up things for lent

Those who are familiar with me know of my tendency to give things up, both to conversational and actual ends. No more I say (until easter)

Things given up in the past (or considered):
Diet Pop (one year running)
Carbonation (end of october through thanksgiving of 2004)
Listening to all music except the Beatles (planned but not executed, march 2005)
The word that (one week in junior year)
The internet/computer (tried unsuccessfully at many different times)
Talking (planned around september/october 2004)
Spending money on inauguration day (whoops! just kidding)
Belts (january through until the end of this year theoretically)
Tying shoe laces (6th grade through 9th grade)

I realize some of the considered ones are cheap, but by considered I mean that I spent a considerable chunk of time devoted to actually looking at how this could realistically be done and most likely then just forgot about it or got interested in a new thing to give up. There are certainly thousands of others which I have merely mentioned in passing, but these are the ones that made the cut and will be kept in mind (or out of mind, as it were).

It would be easy to look at this as a doing things lent, thus somehow defeating the point, but I assure you that it will be difficult. This means giving up saying I am going to give things too. Hopefully I can report the results at some point.

bingo city

a year after the fact, I have no idea if this treatise on censorship is even still relevant. but I felt special around the time it was published in the esteemed Lance. enjoy! (image was published too)

       You certainly heard about it. Good chance you saw it too. The weeks post-breast-reveal (P.B.R. as I will heretofore refer to it) were full of Janet and her breasts in their blurred out glory. Oh, and Justin Timberlake was there too.
       Now, while I don’t consider myself an expert in any facet of football, I do feel especially qualified to reflect on these events. I saw the event undress, as it were.
       Star-shaped pasties aside, is anyone really shocked about the Super Bowl? Janet Jackson was de-bloused. But is America actually so prude?
       The answer is confusing. At least we can trust the current administration with the job of guiding us through this steamy jungle of sex, lies, and videotapes, right?
       Perhaps you find yourself asking “Am I supposed to like this?” Don’t fret, just call attorney general John Ashcroft’s toll-free line. It’s the same number with which you can call in liberals . . . uhhhrrr . . . terrorists.
       When John Ashcroft called in a sculptor to specially cover up Lady Justice statue’s breast, I couldn’t help but melt in a fit of irony. Should we entrust this same government with the job of policing the airwaves?
       No. Regulation of media decency is wrong. And I am always right. For those politically-aware students, please don’t write letters to the editors as I will promptly throw them away.
       Multiple committees were formed P.B.R. in an attempt to squelch the sex and violence crazed beast known as television. Unfortunately, findings of some bureaucratic assistant deputy secretary on “morality” will not matter. If less breasts mean lower ratings for the networks, decency will be damned.
       Who is the government to decide what I am able to watch on the networks?
       This decency battle is not exclusive to the national level, however. A recent article published in the Omaha World-Herald discussed locals writing in to their government representatives to ask for more moral legislation.
       As Omahan Greg Youell put it, “It is undeniable that the rampant immorality on TV will undoubtedly increase our society’s acceptance of extramarital sex, co-habitation etc.”
       We Nebraskans better stand up for our morals, lest that three lettered word spread too much, and, god forbid, gay marriages be legalized...
       If watching “risqué” TV is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
       Others may argue that the media censorship comes as much from inside the industry as out of it. To an extent, this is true. Recently, shock jock Howard Stern was removed from the lineup at various Clear Channel affiliated stations due to morality concerns. The radio jockey who in effect mainstreamed on-air sex gimmicks has constantly toed the line of morality.
       Interestingly enough, at a recent press conference of Stern’s, conservative radio pundit Rush Limbaugh came to his support. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems when ultra conservatives and ultra liberals join forces against you, you are wrong.
       Censorship is not always so bad. I applaud those parents of younger children who wish to employ personal censorship. There is a proper time and place to expose your children to the more extreme aspects of the media.
       However, parents of kids my age are naive in thinking they can shield their children indefinitely. Not only is this unrealistic, it is unsmart. The TV is a powerful tool when used with parental discussion.
       Pop quiz. Say, theoretically, you are channel surfing and rest on channel 27, home of the Golden Girls. You start to panic; “I can’t handle their crazed-sexual-geriatric antics!” What do you do? (Answers provided at the bottom of the article)
       I have been avoiding this the whole article, but I can’t lead my readers on any longer. I believe there is one, and only one, appropriate place for federal regulation of decency: Pat Robertson’s 700 Club (I always end up at channel 3 when trying to watch TRL on 35). If ever a bill banning this show, which hastily slurred Muslims in the aftermath of 9/11, passed through congress, I would most definitely support it.
       The next time Janet Jackson malfunctions her wardrobe, or anything else of “questionable moral nature” appears on TV, use your best judgement. For you, this may mean change the channel. However, if you wish to revel in a pastie-filled moment of classic live television, be my guest.
       Answers: a.) Change the channel

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