Bess W

red.

2008-04-03T18:28:21Z

Here's the thing, I feel as though I'm running out of time. Time to make decisions. Time to make plans. Time to not make plans. Time to figure out what the fuck I'm doing with my life, when it is seemingly so very very, disgustingly easy. Perhaps thats my problem. The simplicity makes me uncomfortable. Nay, nauseous.

Did I dig myself into a child-sized hole?

Doomed to play school house for eternity and ever more?

Should I start collecting my holiday themed, bedazzled bejeweled, one of a kind because your mom hand sewed the sequins, sweaters now?

Did someone trick me into thinking this overpriced, over-catholic education was all for such a worthy cause?

Did I miss my boat and end up stranded on the wrong side of the ocean?

Did I forget how much I wanted to sing the blues, smoke cigarettes on stage and drink gin out of wine glasses, full to the brim?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe I'll just wait.

Maybe I'm just grumpy because it won't stop fucking raining.

bugger.

2007-04-22T06:13:51Z

i am currently recuperating from the greatest trip of my life. i spent the last two weeks backpacking nearly the entire country of new zealand. starting in auckland, at the top of the north island (i bet a lot of you didn't know that new zealand consisted of two islands), i casually made my way down to queenstown, at the bottom of the south island. somewhere in between, i was given the extreme privilege of travelling through, in my opinion, one of the most gorgeous countries on earth. i mean it. absolutely, positively, gorgeous. It is as if a great portion of the country has been preserved, from the very beginning of time, and each day, become more beautiful than the day before. more magnificent, more breath taking, more awe inspiring, more glorious. i had to remind myself to blink at times, and use a gentle finger to lift my jaw, as to not drool all over myself. for two whole weeks i was in constant euphoria. of course, it didnt hurt that i was jumping out of planes, taking 15 mile hikes through rolling countryside, climbing glaciers, and black water rafting through glow worm caves. i am a very, very, lucky girl.

let me take a minute to tell you the most amazing thing about this little creature we like to call the glow worm. the glow worm is actually a little maggot type insect that lives in the depths of dark moist caves, and eventually turns into a moth like insect, that lives for a grand total of 48 hours. HOWEVER, the very best part about these little buggers, is that the part of them that glows, is actually their poo. now if you ever happen to find yourself in a cave full of the miraculous beings, and you need a little extra reading light, simply give'em a little scream. sure enough, they will glow a little brighter for you. any guesses why? thats right. they shit themselves.

i'll post a few pictures, simply because that is what i promised in blogging from australia. i never promised a bounty of eloquently written memoirs or anything of the like. but pictures i will provide. you have to admit, you don't really care what the pictures are of, but you'll probably enjoy looking at them anyway.

This was our first stop in New Zealand... on our cruise of the beautiful bay of islands. Some of the most expensive real estate exists in this bay. And then there is this little cabin you can stay in for $12 a night. It is about a 3 hour hike, and a half hour boat ride from civilization. Whos with me?

Our 15 mile hike through the countryside of waitomo was probably one of the best things we did while we were there. and it was free.

We asked the bartender what was a good new zealand beer. He said, no comment, and gave us a bucket of something cheap. Apparently, no such thing exists.

and since we were in new zealand, we had no other choice but to go on a lord of the rings tour. if you can guess who we are, i'll give you a kiss.

an hour before we left for the airport, i found myself in a tattoo parlor, getting this put on my wrist. ouch.

well, i love you all. two months down. two to go.

goodnight uh-merica.

2007-02-27T02:03:11Z

Hello! Sorry it has taken me so long to get this up and running, but I'm here! I have to remind myself constantly that I am actually living in Australia, so writing this blog will help me a bit. Not much culture shock exists when moving here, at least it hasn't happened yet. It is just far to similar to stir up too many uncomfortable feelings. I promised pictures though, and so here they are.

My first weekend in Australia, I hopped on a bus and traveled down the souther coast to Jervis bay, which holds the whitest beaches in the world. It was a wonderful way to start of my trip, and at the same time, a horrible way. Australians are tricky like that. "Here are some of the most beautiful things available to the human eye! Don't you just love Australia?" said the overpaid, and over-sexed Australian tour guide to his wide-eyed, mostly american, mostly overweight group of tourists. "Yes!", we all chanted, as we looked around and saw things like this....

and this....

As it turns out... not everything in Australia looks like this. As it turns out, my University is in the middle of a suburb, 45 minutes from anything worth seeing. But I still love it. I've met some one-derful people here...

The simple fact that it is so easy for me to be here, makes me think its right for me. But if nothing else, for now, and for the next five months, I'm going to be okay here.

goodnight uh-merica (and ghana).

love,

sydney...

editors note: Bess, I think the method that seems to work is to Upload File on the left sidebar first, copy the URL of the image, THEN use the special little Image Insert tool, using the resultant image URL - Jeff

you are my sweetest downfall

2007-01-31T05:45:26Z

It hit me today. I had my first real break down, and felt like a fool. I've been handed an amazing oportunity, no questions asked. A gift of experience and new knowledge, beautiful things and miles of separation from comfort. At this point in my life I couldn't ask for a more amazing gift. And yet, I'm scared out of my little mind. Ms. Spektor has been running to my rescue almost every night lately. But even she can't comfort me when I start imagining never even getting out of the airport in sydney. How silly am I? Very. I'm sorry, international airports turn me on and terrify me all at the same time. It will be my porthole to another world. You can go any where in the world by simply walking through a strangely shaped door and taking a seat. But who's to say I will return? I'm reading this book right now, holding on to the last few chapters because I wish it were a never ending story that somehow sucked me in so that I too could experience the mind expanding wonder that is the lifestyle of the real people. if you get a chance, please pick up mutant message down under by marlo morgan. you can read it in a day if you've got the time. The author is summoned by a tribe of Aboriginals and ends up walking across the continent of australia with them for four months, learning their way of life. healing methods (crazy traditional medicine: cancer cures, anti timor remedies, etc.) wisdom, relation to the earth, and the universal oneness we are all part of. All I'm saying is don't be suprised if I don't return from Australia. These people are the strongest force pulling me towards Australia right now. And I'm just beginning to learn about them. But I'm hoping they hold me there if they want to.

Well I love you all, and i hope life is going well for each and every one of you. I'm bored out of my mind here in the lovely Omaha. The two week countdown starts tomorrow, and then I'm going all aussie on your asses.

jerks.

2007-01-13T10:27:08Z

if you happen to come across my brand new camera or my wallet, in the hands of someone else, please tackle them, call me, hold them down until i get there, and then let me at'em. ugh. i hate stealers. my parents are going to kill me...

nine lives.

2007-01-09T00:07:46Z

joels blogs always make me think, and this time it just made me think differently about something that has been spinning around my head for a while now. have you ever wanted something so badly you could feel it crawling around under your skin trying to break through to make something real? there are so many things i want from my life, world records i want to break, things i want to be, trips i want to take, things i want to see, and ultimately, cakes i want to bake (you know, like the ones on the food channels cake building competitions). there just isn't enough time. i always say i'm going to do me, and the better you know me, the more you realize i do this. and of course I believe in having dreams and goals galore, but at some point I know I have to choose. at this point, i'm banking on the fact that we live multiple lives. speaking of which, if you haven't read, many lives, many masters, and you are interested in that sort of thing, let me know. i'll let you borrow it.

but say we only get this one life. no second chances, no opportunities to live life as a nightingale (not florence). how do i chose just one life, or lifestyle. i really dont think i can. i think i need at least five lives in order to do everything i want to do.

1. I'm studying to be a teacher right now, probably third grade. i love kids, and i love third grade. i love that at this age, they still think you are the most amazing person on the face of the earth, because they don't know better yet, and even still, they can carry on the most beautiful conversations about dreams and people dying. I know i want to be a teacher, I just dont know if i'm cut out for it, or if I really want it all that badly.

2. I would really give anything in the world to just sing for the rest of my life. In a jazz club, at open mic nights, in front of thousands of people, with my mom, standing beside her grand piano. I'm not picky. But this is what i want, badly. I could be going to school, studying music right now. But at this point, I feel as though it is simply too late. Perhaps I'll do it later. Maybe I'll just skip that step and just sing on the side. Maybe i'll get into it when i'm 40 because i'm still single and sick of spending my nights with my dog and a cup of coffee. really, who knows?

I feel as though if I tell you any more about my life aspirations, you will know too much and it will be held against me at some point in time. So goodnight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. And lets talk sometime, swap stories, and i'll tell you where the other pieces of my heart lie.

clean sheets.

2006-12-31T00:41:28Z

i love the smell of fresh out of the dryer sheets. I got home from work today, and my mother had cleaned my room and washed my sheets. best mom ever.

I'm starting to get ready for my trip to Australia.

Step One: Get excited. I know I should be. I know it should be easy. I shouldn't have to force myself to get excited about this. But, its hard. I'm nervous. Plus, perhaps if I'm not completely thrilled about going, if i get there and it is unbelievable, then it will just be twice as good. Or something.

Step Two: Read. My mom bought me a nice travel book for chrismas, but I read through that pretty quickly. (Fun Fact, f.f. if you will, One out of every three people who live in Australia will get skin cancer. eek.) But I would like to know more. I feel as though there is a serious stereotype of American students who study abroad in Australia. They drink, they surf, they lay on the beach, and go to class if it is convenient. This is clearly represented through the facebook groups that have been created for Australian study abroad students. "I wish i remembered my semester abroad!!" "Gosh, I drank too much!" "lakjsdf I'm drunk and in australia alskdjfa" etc. Those aren't the exact titles, but close enough. The point is, I want to travel. I want to see things other than the bars and the beaches. I just hope I can find people that will join me.

Step Three: Save money. I'm bad at this. I'm horrible at budgeting. So instead of trying to budget my money, I'm simply not spending it. Well, trying not too. Which might be difficult tomorrow night, what with all the flowing champagne and all...

speaking of which, what is everyone doing tomorrow night?

well, I love you all. farewell.

The first one

2006-12-28T18:29:17Z

I tried to blog yesterday, and on three separate occasions, I failed. I wanted to quit, I really did. But I figured, if Jeff S believed in me enough to sign me up (and shout out to Jeff S for doing so, Holla!) then I should push through it. Defeat the defeat, and become a champion warrior wandyteether. So thats what I'm doing, or at least attempting until it deletes my life again.

But I guess I'm here to add some girl power to this team. But I dont want to step on any toes, because there all ready is some girl power, also known as, Liz G. She might not blog a lot, but in my opinion, its quality over quantity, and that girl has definitely got the/is quality.

Either way, I'm new to the scene, and I will do what I can to spice things up a bit. Pretty soon here I'll be living in Sydney, Australia, so maybe the international aspect will be just the spice I need, which is probably Paprika.